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Tenderizing Meat and Other Uses For Home
Exercise Equipment
by Nick Nilsson, Author of "The
Best Exercises Youve Never Heard Of"
Have a piece of home exercise equipment that's
collecting dust? Give it new life with these handy tips!
Almost everyone has bought home exercise equipment at some
point in their life, be it a few rusty dumbells at a garage
sale all the way to a complicated new home gym, but how many
people continue to use it consistently? Here are some uses
(that you should never, ever actually take seriously, of course!)
you may not have thought of for your forgotten purchases.
1. Dumbells - The original dark basement
booby trap
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Dumbells make great children's toys. They
are, of course, heavier and more dangerous than a barbie
doll or Play-Doh™ and are not really
as exciting as a video game but they certainly are cheap
and hard to break.
-
Tenderizing meat - bash the meat with the dumbell repeatedly.
Great shoulder and arm exercise too! May increase the
iron content of your food significantly.
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Bowling - set them on end and use them as pins. You will
need a really heavy ball for this.
2. Ab Rollers - These are the abdominal
training devices that feature a head rest attached to a frame
that you set your arms on so you can rock, rock, rock your
way to six-pack abs.
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Roll cage for a toboggan - for the safety-minded parent.
Protect your child from the heartbreak of a rollover accident
on the sled hill by having him or her carry this while
going down. Nevermind that they won't be able steer because
they're holding onto the thing...
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Tenderizing meat - lay the meat down below the head rest
and rock violently back and forth on top of it.
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Baby toy hanger - nothing good on tv? Hook some old christmas
tree ornaments from the top crossbar and set your baby
underneath. You'll both be amused for hours!
3. Thighmaster™ - popularized by
Suzanne Somers, no closet is complete without this device.
You simply set it between your legs and squeeze!
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Keeps doors closed - jam it in the corner behind a door.
When you open the door, it squeezes the spring. When you
release the door, the stored tension closes the door automatically
behind you! At 40 miles per hour!!!
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Tenderizing meat - set the meat on the counter, squeeze
the Thighmaster shut with your hands then release the
spring on top of the meat like a bear trap.
4. The Ab-Doer™ - This is the chair-like
ab training device that resembles a chair with no back.
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Tenderizing meat - of course, to accomplish this you'll
have to throw the meat at it really hard.
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Playing practical jokes on drunk friends - sit them in
the machine then tell them to watch you as you run around
it a few times and you'll see what I mean.
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Pretending you're Captain Kirk of the Starship Enterprise
- set phasers on "useless."
5. The Bowflex™ - This is a popular
home exercise machine that utilizes the incredible power of
bending things to sculpt your body.
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Conversation piece - the classic display of this machine
in the corner of your living room is sure to spur discussion.
"You have how many payments left on this thing?"
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Tenderizing meat - remove one of the bows and slap the
meat silly with it.
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Burglar deterrant - set the machine in front of a ground
floor window with all of the bows rigged up to the latch.
Be sure the thief signs a waiver before attempting to
open the window, however, as he's going to get up to 410
pounds of resistance right where it counts.
6. Electric Ab Training Belts - Electrocute
your way to a flatter stomach!
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Unfortunately, they aren't very good for keeping your
pants up, so that's out of the question.
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Place mat/food warmer - somebody running late for dinner?
Set their plate on it and turn up the juice!
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Memorabilia - write the words "Golden Gloves"
on it and set it on the mantle right next to your "Big
Mouth Billy Bass (tm)" singing plastic fish!
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Tenderizing meat - set the meat on the counter, place
the belt on top of it, turn it to the highest level, then
lean down on it with all your weight as it tenderizes
and sears at the same time!
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Driving safety gear - does your spouse have a tendency
to get sleepy at the wheel? That's a thing of the past
when they've got the belt on and you've got the controls
in your hand...
7. And last but not least, every piece of equipment that
has handles, bars, hooks, stacks, pins, corners, rails, seats,
clips, stands or attachments and does or does not come in
a box...
CLOTHES HANGER!
Nick Nilsson is Vice President of BetterU, Inc., an
online fitness and personal training company. Check out his
latest eBook "The
Best Exercises Youve Never Heard Of" or visit him
at FitStep.
You can also subscribe to his fitness newsletter by sending
an email to betterunews@fitstep.com
(type "subscribe" in the subject line).
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