Anonymous Story

When I was 3, my mother put me on a diet, with the excuse that my father's family was fat and she could see that I really liked food so I'd probably be fat too. I watched my skinny brother eat all the forbidden foods -- bread, jelly, ice cream, etc. and envy ate at me.

I had my first anxiety attack at 4 -- my throat closed up and I couldn't swallow solid foods for many weeks. No one got the message that it was food-related -- only that I must have a blockage or was being stubborn. Once a week I was permitted a slice of bread and I remember cutting it in 4 parts to put different spreads on it and enjoy my weekly taste of bread in differing ways.

By my teens I had found out how to sneak money from my mother's change jar and buy the forbidden things like candy and chips. I had a friend to do this with so it was fun. I quickly gained 20 lbs. Then my mom died when I was 14. I was sad, but was now able to eat as I chose. I did not gain weight and looked very good.

I made a bad marriage too young (lousy stepmother) and got pregnant accidentally. I gained over 40 lbs. during the pregnancy and lost only a few after the birth. I complained to the doctor and he gave me amphetamines (this was in the 50's when such medications were easily prescribed). This started me on a dependency on weight loss pills and yo-yo symptoms -- I went up and down losing the same 40 lbs. And regaining them.

Finally I went into therapy and lost the 40 lbs. (with the help of pills -- I didn't think I could do it on my own). I got a good job in advertising and used the pills to keep my weight in line. When the pills stopped being effective, I stopped them, slept for a few days till I recovered and began again.

To add to my problems, bad marriage, financial woes, etc., my back began to trouble me, so exercise was out -- I had to rest a lot when not working. I took pain killers to help me. My marriage broke up when I was 47 and I was left with a house foreclosure, 2 kids in college, and the emotional wreckage from a hysterectomy, and my husband leaving me. Though he was not good, I had married for life and thought that at 47 I was finished.

I went into a clinical depression for which I was hospitalized and lost a lot of weight. Never in my life had I been so slim! I was on antidepressants, so I couldn't take amphetamines and by that time it was hard to get them, so I went to OA and followed their strict (but unrealistic) diet.

The weight stayed off for about 10 years but I was getting older and not exercising. It was very hard for me to lose even 1 lb. I went to a diet doctor and he gave me some liquid appetite suppressant which would work for awhile, but I'd have to stop it then start it again to feel the results. I must mention here that I never went above minimal doses in any of these drugs -- I'd just stop them for a couple of weeks and then resume small doses till they didn't work again. But then I moved away and remarried and was unable to get the drugs. I tried dieting but it was hard for me to do so having always had a crutch to help me.

My troublesome back started my "cure." It was so bad that I was supposed to go for surgery -- but the doctor sent me to a physiotherapist who told me that if I did my exercises regularly, I would be out of pain in months. The exercises started gently but then worked up to crunches and weights and I do them to this day.

I also began a sensible diet, and got a health club membership and worked out. But I didn't lose weight. I was now in my sixties, and it is hard to lose weight at that age.

However, I mentioned it to my internist and he said women of my age often have poorly functioning thyroids, so after seeing that my blood test showed a borderline thyroid deficiency, he prescribed a small dose of thyroid. What a miracle! I wasn't tired anymore; my hair stopped falling out; my depression was gone -- and I was ready to begin serious weight loss.

I went back to OA -- where they now recommend seeing a nutritionist. So I went to one my doctor recommended. She put me on 1300 calories and told me I'd lose weight on it even though it was more calories than Weight Watchers or other programs I'd been on. It featured more protein, less carbohydrates than most nutrition articles recommend, and controlled fats. It did include snacks so I eat 5-6 small meals a day.

I have lost 30 lbs. and look years younger. I can wear clothes I hadn't tried to wear in years. No more amphetamines either -- I'm in charge of my life!